Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. If you’re interested in hearing from The Times regularly about great TV, sign up for our Watching newsletter and get recommendations straight to your inbox.
An Odd Couple Appears
On Wednesday’s “Late Show,” Stephen Colbert welcomed an odd couple that we just might be seeing more of in the future: Michael Avenatti, the lawyer for the pornographic film actress Stephanie Clifford, and Anthony Scaramucci, the short-lived White House communications director.
Avenatti and Scaramucci — who represent two diametrically opposed political views, especially when it comes to President Trump — have been floating the idea of a joint talk show. On Wednesday, they refused to address that, leaving Colbert to ask them simply why they were there together. Neither man gave a direct response.
Avenatti is always silver-tongued and unrestrained when he’s on the verbal attack. Here are a few of the choice lines he delivered:
On Michael Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer: “I predicted a couple months ago that Michael Cohen was going to be indicted, and that he was in a whole heapload of trouble, and I think we’ve seen that play out over the last couple months. There’s no question in my mind that he’s going to be indicted, and there’s no question in my mind that he’s going to try to flip on the president. I think that Michael Cohen is in a very, very bad spot — and I think the president is in a very, very bad spot. Because that’s what happens when you trust your innermost secrets to a moron.”
On Trump: “There’s no question in my mind that he would pardon himself, because this guy’s one of the biggest narcissists you’ve ever seen in your entire life.”
On Rudolph Giuliani: “This is what happens when your entire administration is built on a house of lies. Lying is the rule and not the exception with this administration, and when you can’t keep your lies straight, this is what happens.”
Scaramucci and Colbert didn’t agree on much, but Scaramucci gladly engaged in some self-deprecating humor.
COLBERT: Do you still talk to the president?
SCARAMUCCI: I do.
COLBERT: Because you got kicked out after 11 days, quite famously. One 11-day period is now called a Scaramucci. Eleven days.
SCARAMUCCI: It’s actually not long enough to be called a Scaramucci. It’s called a Mooch.
Trump Comes Home
Jimmy Fallon welcomed Trump back from Singapore, where the president had sat down with Kim Jong-un, the North Korean leader.
“Trump got back to the White House today. He walked through the doors and yelled, ‘I’m home!’ and then remembered that he’d fired everyone.” — JIMMY FALLON
Looking back on the trip, Fallon said it made sense that Trump had seemed to take a shine to Kim.
“Kim is totally Trump’s type: He’s foreign and half his age.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Domino’s Edition)
“In a recent tweet, Ivanka Trump misattributed a quote from an American newspaper as a Chinese proverb — which is weird, because usually she takes things that are Chinese and passes them off as American.” — SETH MEYERS, showing a collection of handbags produced by Ivanka Trump’s brand
“Tomorrow, Trump turns 72. But he doesn’t tweet a day over 12.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Domino’s Pizza announced this week that as part of a publicity campaign, the company will start to fill potholes in select towns across the country. Yes, so Domino’s will be filling potholes — not to be confused with their normal business of filling potheads.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Bits Worth Watching
Samantha Bee attacked conservative pundits who have still refused to acknowledge that the students who survived the shooting at a high school in Parkland, Fla., subsequently becoming gun control activists, were not paid actors.
James Corden joined the Fab Five from “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” and helped them give a makeover to his house band’s guitarist.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Marc Maron, a comedian whose “WTF” podcast has earned him a huge following in recent years, will sit down with Colbert on Thursday.